had enough
by Yammi-sama
Summary: Summery: Kaoru makes a life changing/ending decision. What will Hikaru's reaction be when he finds out. First part is in Kaoru's POV second is in Hikaru's, M for character death


Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

Summery: Kaoru makes a life changing/ending decision. What will Hikaru's reaction be when he finds out. First part is in Kaoru's POV second is in Hikaru's, M for character death

**Had enough**

I've been left behind, the space next to me where Hikaru is supposed to be is empty, ever since Hikaru started to have feelings for Haruhi he's spent more and more time with her and less and less time with me. I always thought it would just be the two of us forever but that's now just a dream that will never come true.

The only times I was with him were at home and in the host club, but even then, even when he's only an inch away from me it feels like a mile. All that's happened has made me realize just how precious Hikaru is to me, how much I love him, and how I love him. I shouldn't love him the way I do, I don't love him as a brother as my twin, its more then that but I know that I'm the only one that feels this way. Once it became apparent that that was never going to change I decided I'd had enough.

It was a weekend the house was empty with the exception of myself, Hikaru had gone out somewhere with Haruhi again. I was sprawled out on the bed staring at the ceiling and I thought to myself I've had enough of this, I'm tired of Hikaru acting like I'm not even here, like I don't exist I thought maybe it'd be better if I didn't exist, if I wasn't here then my feelings for Hikaru would stop, everything would stop.

I looked over at my cellphone, picked it up, and flipped through my contacts till I came to Hikaru's number. I sat there and stared at it a few minutes before pressing send, it went strait to voice-mail not that I was actually expecting him to answer. There were things I needed to tell him, had to tell him so I left a message not the best way to tell him I know but it was the best I could do.

I closed the phone and held it tight there was no turning back I made the decision and I wasn't going to change my mind I couldn't live without Hikaru by my side so I wasn't going to. I opened the drawer of my bed side table and pulled out a knife I had hidden there a few weeks before. I stared at it thinking of how I would do this there were multiple places I could cut, I finally decided the heart would be best, strait to the source of my pain.

I closed my eyes as I held the knife to my chest and smiled to myself knowing that everything would be over all the pain I'd suffered watching Hikaru leave me behind never looking back it would all end and I'd finally be at piece and so I stabbed myself strait through the heart just as Hikaru had done every time he was with Haruhi. It was painful as the life slowly faded from me, in my last moments with my last breath I whispered into the darkness of our room "goodbye Hikaru"

/*********************/

the weekend was here and I had a date with Haruhi, I left the house without saying a word to Kaoru at the time I had no idea that that would be the worst mistake I'd ever made I thought I was doing what was best for us we were to close I was starting to feel for him in a way I shouldn't, it was wrong he's my brother and that's all we could ever be so I distanced myself from him by spending my free time with Haruhi and the others instead of Kaoru

I was having diner with Haruhi at a fancy restaurant which she kept telling me that anywhere was fine we didn't need to eat at such an expensive restaurant I told her I wanted to treat her to something nice, it was a date after all plus I had made a reservation so she had no choice.

We had just ordered and were waiting for the food to arrive when something didn't feel right something was wrong but I didn't know what, Haruhi asked me if something was wrong I told her everything was fine and not to worry though I don't think she believed me. The food had arrived and that feeling had worsened Haruhi was saying something but my mind was to busy trying figure out what was wrong to comprehend what it was I had also lost my appetite.

An hour had passed and all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my chest and in that instant I knew the cause of that bad feeling I'd been having, my eyes widened I jumped out of my chair and ran out the door, the limo was waiting outside, I got in as fast as I could practically slamming the door shut as I yelled to the driver "take me home as fast as you can". Kaoru and I have always been able to feel each others pain and what I had just felt was like being stabbed.

I arrived back home and ran inside and up the stairs yelling his name to which I got no response. I reached our room my heart was racing and I was frozen, afraid to open the door, afraid of what I might find. Finally I opened the door and I couldn't believe what I saw "Kaoru!" I yelled as ran to the bed where Kaoru was "Kaoru why!" I yelled again holding Kaoru in my arms tears welling in my eyes I was confused, horrified I just couldn't understand why he would do this and without saying anything it was then that I noticed he was holding his cellphone did he call someone I thought.

With shaky hands I picked it up and opened it, I wanted to know who his last words were to. My eyes widened, he had called me, but I had turned my cell off when I was Haruhi. I put Kaoru's phone down and took my own out of my pocket and turned it on, I had a voice-mail. I pressed the voice-mail button and listened to it.

_Hikaru I have some things I need to say before I do what I'm about to do. I love you Hikaru, so much that it hurts and it hurts even more knowing you'll never love me the same way. You love Haruhi not me you've forgotten about me, even when your with me it feels like you don't even see me. I know its wrong to love you this way, I thought it was fine if you didn't feel the same but its not, I can't stand it you don't love me and you never will that's just how things are and will always be. By the time you here this I'll probably already be dead, these are my last words to you Hikaru, I love you more then you could ever know, even in death I will always love you._

"your an idiot Kaoru!" I yelled as I dropped the phone "I do love you I thought you'd hate me if you knew so I used Haruhi as an excuse to distance myself from you, I don't love her I love you and only you no one else matters you were my world and now your gone." I remove the knife from his chest and held him close to me "why Kaoru why did you have to leave me!" I yelled as I stabbed myself in the same spot and with the same knife that took Kaoru away from me and would now take me to him.

**The end **

**a/n:** thank you for reading I hope you liked it, reviews would be greatly appreciated let me know what you thought


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